Saturday, April 17, 2010

Riley's Going Away Party

So a good friend is deploying to Afganistan and naturally we had to have a party. It was fun, only 1 keg was sacrificed to a bunch of drunken retards and yes children and animals were injured during this event. Enjoy:



My new party face



I set the deployd's fresh ink hahahahahhahahaha



Erik smashed the hood over the stove... it needed to come down anyways



Tommy passed out in the middle of the living room floor, and I had a magic marker. Shortly after this Tommy then woke up and proceeded to try and fight Nate, then puked all over. IT was pretty funny. Those are about the only real highlights of the night with the exception of the Wings DESTROYING the Coyotes. Good stuff, good stuff.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Can't Blame Me


This will be the last post for the day, I just found another old picture that proves you can't blame me... I know it's blurry but this washes my hands of all our nations problems right now

Now, I've been waiting to say this to all of you who didn't make the right choice:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO!

The best TP job I didn't do but got blamed for...




So this masterpiece was created by my buddies while I was passed out drunk in a gutter somewhere. However, after a long hard night of drinking too much and falling down I was awakened by three screaming banshees bitching about how I broke into their house then TP'd them. Ironically, I think these bitches had no room to talk because they broke into my house only to awaken me into the worst hangover ever with three 19-20 year old bitches screaming and nagging. For a while I honestly thought I drank myself to death and was in hell...

Honestly, I really wish I would have TP'd them... this is good work.

The Thing!



So I just wanted to post this up because I think it's awesome. I went to some Halloween party a few years back with my girlfriend... I didnt really wanna go but it ended up turning out alright. Not to mention it was in a bad ass house with a badass deck and they had a really bad ass keg. But when I was out on the porch I noticed this awesome feature the house had, and I've never seen anything like it before! So naturally my wasted ass turned into a japanese tourist and took 1000000 photos of it because it was so awesome. I'll only post a couple though because they are all pretty much the same... just to give you an idea the size of this thing: that is a large sliding glass door beneath it.

It's so fucking cool when I finally get a big house I'm gonna make one too... and when people ask where I got the idea I'm gonna act like i'm the shit and thought of it myself. I rule.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

My retarded HLM

I just realized I cannot lump my buddy Brian, (or hippy "Reagan") as we call him in with my other retarded friends. Today he gets his very own celebrity highlite. Perhaps, I may highlight one friend per week just because I do have evidence to suggest they are all fucking morons. Thankfully I'm not friends with myself so I can leave me out of this blog :)

Anyhow, See Reagan:



See Reagan drive:




See Reagan joy ride:



We barely made it thru security gate with this sweet ride...



Ride Reagan Ride



Reagan likes to spend his free time smoking, drinking, and wearing sandals. He does not like long walks on the beach but prefers to get drunk and shoot kittens out of his potato cannon. Reagan's sole purpose in life is to "Reagan Smash" as we like to call it, or in laymans terms, use his hippy sandal feet to kick in doors. For some reason, when he is intoxicated he believes communism is hiding behind every door... then smashes is it only to find 'no communism there'. But all is not lost because his core capitalist values have caused a 150% increase in door frame sales. What can you do to be more like Reagan? Just ask yourself every time you're wasted "WWRD". The answer shall come.

Now, after all this attention I believe Reagan is sleepy... sleep Reagan sleep... for tomorrow you you will continue the art of smashing

My Retarded Friends



First I want to start this off by bashing Flint. The sign you are about to see was inspired by a good friend of mine who had a habit of getting all drunk at the bar, then drag racing himself all the way home through the abandoned hood. I figure if this posed any safety threats, there may be a cop in the area at some point in time...

Apparently this area was inhabited, and the cops have better things to do then clock a black Silverado blazing at 85-100 mph in an alleged 25 mph zone. But then again, when the sun goes down in Flint it is legally justifiable to run every red light and stop sign for fear of getting robbed



My next exhibit is proof that degos can't drive. At first I thought if we took this kid, locked him in a room with bag of weed, a 40, a brick oven, and a block of aluminum he'd make be a ferrari. Turns out that little bastard couldn't even bake me a fucking pizza... he just got high and drunk and fell asleep in the corner. Then one day got all wasted, was going too fast, and allegedly broke his clutch leading to that beautiful trans am. I may post a follow up to this picture with a potential gambling opportunity for all those interested.

On a more positive note, turns out our little dego couldn't handle his Trans Am... but is the Formula One equivalent of an Amigo driver



Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Punting Kittens!

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